endless string of thoughts popping up...leading to nothing
"nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes, its awful!"
Waiting for Almighty

hibernation

ahh, for all these years i was hibernating under the sheets of life. i realised that my love for literature remains constant. true alley of mine...But at times i might not even flip a page...deep inside i imagine reading book, talking to each characters and even to words. letters, punctuation...

The weed - Amrita Pritam

Title: The weed
Author: Amrita Pritam
Genre: Short Story

Author: Amrita Pritam, a poet, essayist, and novelist, is one of the most prominent women writers in Indian literature. The poem Ode to Waris Shah and the novel Pinjar are often talked of as her masterpieces and both express her anguish over post-partition tribulations and massacres.

Excerpt: Tears flowed down her face in two rivulets, gathering into two tiny puddles at the corners of her mouth.
'Curse on me!' she started in a voice trembling with tears, 'I never took sweets from him... not a betel even... but tea...' She could not finish. Her words were drowned n a fast stream of tears.

Aishwarya speaks: Well, this story is pretty interesting and has a touch of feminism in it. It dwells up on the superstitious beliefs which were once part and parcel of our lives.

The weed is regarded as one of the best short stories of Amrita and like most of her other writings, poses questions regarding gender discrimination and female sexuality that prevail in societies rooted in superstitions and strongly conditioned by patriarchal values and standards. Angoori, the protagonist of the story, is a young, uneducated woman who is taught to believe that reading and education are sinful practices which all village women should keep aloof. But urban women are not considered so. Even village men are not restricted in such a way. Girls like her are even instructed to look upon love between man and woman as the result of some magical power(the working of the weed). When Angoori's father decides to marry her off to much older Prabhati who is also a widower, she accepts her lot without any questions. Finally, when she is attracted to the young and handsome Ram Tara she does not blame it on her loneliness or loveless marriage; she strongly believes that she has also unknowingly succumbed to the charm of weed. Angoori also says that at the age of six, girls choose their husbands by adoring their feet. At that age she doesn't know to choose by herself. So her father takes money and flowers and puts them at his feet. That means father adores the feet and he does it for the girl. There are many interesting instances which dig up on the cultural tags imposed by the society upon woman. At last Angoori requests the narrator to teach her to read. It indicates she is willing to commit the sin.
It also questions the old concept of marriage, sexual attraction and also the basic rights of women that are denied by the society. Ending is not as expected, may be we  can call it as an abrupt ending. But it suggest many things. The rest is given to the imagination of the reader.
(It gives an insight into those superstitious beliefs and black magic existed in our society.)

Rating: 4.5/5

Name of the book: The Color purple

Author: Alice Walker

Genre: African American women- fiction, Epistolary novel

ISBN 978 - 0 - 15 - 603182 - 0

No of pages: 294

Publisher : Harcourt, Inc.

Price: 388 (on flipkart.com)

Author: Alice Walker, the famous African American writer, has won Pulitzer Award for The Color Purple. She is an activist who has worked for the cause of downtrodden black women. She has coined the term Womanism which is closely associated with feminism.

Blurb says: The Color Purple is the story of two sisters-- one a missionary to Africa and the other a child wife living in the South-- who remain loyal to one another across time, distance, and silence. Beautifully imagined and deeply compassionate, this classic of American literature is rich with passion, pain, inspiration, and an indomitable love of life.

Excerpt: I ast him to take me instead of Nettie while our new mammy sick. But he just ast me what i'm talking bout. I tell him I can fix myself up for him. I duck into my room and comeout wearing horsehair, feathers, and a pair of our new mammy high heel shoes. He beat me for dressing trampy but he do it to me anyway.

Aishwarya speaks: The Color Purple is an account of Celie a black woman who has been marginalized and subjugated by the patriarchal society. She undergoes an array of bitter experiences which a woman of today cannot even think of. She never tries to come out from the cage built by her husband Mr.------- until she meets Shug Avery. Later, Shug, being pictured as woman with a man's will, transforms Celie to a perfect independent woman. Involved in a lesbian relation with Shug, Celie discovers her individuality and even her body that couldn't evoke any feelings in her mind. This saga narrates the distressing life of black women who couldn't even articulate a simple word against the male supremacy. An epistolary novel,The Color Purple also speaks out the strong bond of Celie with her sister Nettie who somehow survives the storms with strong determination. 

I was not reading the novel rather I was experiencing it and that makes the novel more powerful. The author portrays the exact life of black people who were beaten to pulp during the span of colonization.

Each word in this novel expresses the intensity of their pain. Written in Black English, The Color Purple is a Womanist Post colonial novel. A person who has any feeling for woman would certainly love it.

My rating:5/5

Price: $8.95

book review

This was published in A Lot of Pages:P

LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT

AUTHOR : PREETI SHENOY

Genre: Fiction, romance

ISBN 9789380349305

No of pages: 209

Publisher: Srishti Publishers & Distributors (2011)

Price: Rs. 65 ( on flipkart.com)

Blurb says: Ankita Sharma has the world at her feet. She is young, good looking, smart and has tonnes of friends and boys swooning over her. College life is what every youngster dreams of and she also manages to get into a premier management school for her MBA . Six months later, she is a patient in a mental hospital. How did Ankita get here? What were the events that led to this? Will she ever get back her life again?

Excerpt: "How many guys will you trap with your wily charms, you stupid little tramp?" My mother almost spat out. Her words cut deep, scooping out my deepest feelings of apprehension and exposing it threadbare.

Aishwarya speaks: "Life is what you make it", first I saw this book on flipkart when i searched for some other novels for my project. As the title says, life is what you make it. It is an inspiring story in which how a girl ascends back to her success ladder. Ankita Sharma, stabbed by her own fate, sinks deep to the sea of troubles. Later she becomes a psychic person and is torn into pieces. Her determination brings her back to life. The author succeeds in imprinting Ankita's emotions and feelings in reader's mind. 

Ankita's feeling of love swings back and forth and in between Abhi, her boyfriend commits suicide due to her negligence. This incident later has a profound influence on her actions. This is a story of a girl who fights with her own life and makes it her own. Story plot is basically set across in two cities Bombay and Cochin. Preeti Shenoy has captured the nuances of late 80's and early 90's. The book starts with a poem of W.E Henley and it also contains a beautiful poem written by the protagonist during the initial phase of depression.  The language is simple and  I would recommend this book especially for its vividness except some monotonous descriptions. The author is intended to pass a message even through its title: Life is What you make it.

My Rating: 4/5

Price: Rs. 100

http://expressbuzz.com/cities/kochi/A-savoury-art-junction/361757.html

മലയാളം 

its easy to say that its my life, i will play it. but its too difficult to hold on that.
i have to act accordingly with the circumstances or else i shall be marked  as an impudent girl...
oh then sucks my complete life.

here, am wearing many masks. am fed up with this. i have to please everyone for the sake of living.
i hate this.
how can i get out of this ambush???
please say
life irritates me with its stink.
how can i call this as my life, if somebody else controls it?

resolution

I saw blog as a personal diary where one could write his or her feelings, especially those unexpressed ones. Sometimes we cannot express everything as circumstances demand us to keep mum.

But when I visited many blogs, I was surprised to see many persons saw blogging as a serious task and that seriousness was reflected in their respective blogs.( I congratulate all of them who are utilizing this platform to the fullest.) Until then I was footslogging.

Then questions came like hurricane "why did I fail to see blogging as a serious profession? why can't i handle that?"
They began pondering.

As a new year resolution(even though it is late), I am going to take up new responsibilities that includes  blogging,reading(always), and many other areas where my hand has never touched . I shall throw off my lazy garb.
So,after a while, lets see a complete makeover. 

hurray

Check this out...it was a new year gift for me, even though it is not huge by and large(for others)....but i shall cherish this all along my life.

http://heart-bytes.blogspot.com/2012/01/writers-forum-poetry-contest-december.html

http://heart-bytes.blogspot.com/2012/01/results-of-writers-forum-creative.html

competing with world wide participants, where i was only a small drop in an ocean having sharks and whales :p
thanks

Since now i have learnt many movements
but still i dont know to which movement i can subscribe to
a bit perplexed here

Gitanjali

        I know not how thou singest, my master! I ever listen in silent amazement
        The light of thy music illumines the world. The life breath of thy music runs from sky to sky. The holy stream of thy music breaks through stony obstacles and rushes on.
        My heart longs to join thy song, but vainly struggles for a voice. I would speak, but speech breaks not into song, and I cry out baffled. Ah, thou hast made my heart captive in the endless meshes of thy music, my master!

--RABINDRANATH TAGORE 

....

when time moves on, our priorities change.
people always say "friendship remains the same.
where ever they go, they will remain friends for ever.."
but i cannot agree with that...

if a person merges with the busy life and forgetting all the old tales,
i cannot call the relationship a pure zeal of friendship.
often friendship never relays on distance, if two people are "friends".
it depends on how seriously that person takes the relationship.
people often forget yesterdays. they hunt for new friends when they get bored with the old allies..
when they realize and come back, we can call it a real friendship.
if not, its fake...

heading for the hills

Droplets falling from heaven
My thoughts are heading for the hills
They have come to a halt at my childhood
Oh, that's a sudden stop.

Woven by my brother, childhood was the prettiest time
Butterflying with him was my best loved pastime
Hunting for new places always resulted in the same stamping ground.
But river always fascinated me with her cuddling ways
She offered me her petals of water.

To make me happy, brother flipped little waves; springing as colored images.
Tiny sprinkles touching my innocent cheeks,
gave me breezy essence
Imprinting in my mind those sparkling drops,
formed the shape of waning crescent.

My little skirt hugged the wavy rhythm of life
Swaying like a flower who was thrown up by the breeze,
I grabbed the hands of my brother
and walked through the itinerary of happiness.

Mind as well as body suffused in the chillness of age
I lost my sense somewhere between the pebbles
Regaining it, i stood at the bank of memories
Staring at the black and white memories flowing through the river
I found that nothing was left
Petrified in the years of grief, i dropped off my innocence
And merged with the rest
Fleeing with time those tiny waves waved goodbye to me forever...

p.s: a poem based on the below given picture,written for writers' forum contest. got inspiration from this picture,because water always tempts me.

Mullaperiyar- burning inside

I have been asked to publish this article...It is a worth try i guess. Even my life is also in danger :P


For those who still think "Mullaperiyar" issue is a regional one, For those who wont see anything even it is visible... What will happen to Kerala and South India if Mullaperiyar Dam... breaks? 


1) Under water sea cable for internet connectivity connects India to rest of the world , thats only in Cochin. If Cochin Goes Down, South Indian IT Hub will come to a stand still. All the gateway CISCO rout...ers , switches etc in Kakkanad will float in Arabian Ocean. IP packets from Bangalore, chennai etc will not cross the ocea...n....... 

2) Cochin Refineries - Which refines petroleum products and services most of South India. If it is washed away, TamilNadu, Karnataka and Andhra has to find much more expensive options for Petroleum Refineries. 

3) Kerala will be in complete darkness for ages, no TV, no Internet, no Mobile towers, once the Idukki hydro electric power plant is washed away, resulting from Mullaperiyar collapse.

4) Kerala... will be divided into 2 lands, impacting geography of India, and washing away an area of vast bio diversity, along with 30 lakh people. Serving rest of the people with food and other stuffs will be an extremely tedious task.

5) Port City of Cochin, will not be in world map anymore. Vallarpadam port will be a history, all of South India has to again depend on Colombo for Mother ships , a very expensive option.

6) Tamil Nadu will not get water for irrigation or drinking anymore, as stored water in Mullaperiyar dam will flow to the ocean, when the dam collapses.

7) Along its course, the water current will wash Idukki Dam, and many many Industries , Factories, IT Parks, Hospitals, Ports, Cochin City, temples, mosques, churches etc etc to the Arabian Ocean.

8) A disaster 180 times terrific than Hiroshima. This is not exaggeration. Spread this, my friends. Information is power. Kerala as well as Tamil Nadu are stakeholders in this issue. More than us, its normal Tamil people(excluding power-hungry politicians) who need such info. We need our brothers and sisters across the border to pressurize their own politicians to consider this as a humanitarian crisis, rather than an inter-state dispute.

The Verities

100 verities!!!


1. Last beverage – evening coffee
2. Last phone call- Anandhu
3. Last text message – Anandhu
4. Last song you listened to – snehathin poonchola theerathil from pappayude swantham appus
5. Last time you cried – when things turned upside down(always happen)


HAVE YOU EVER
6.Dated someone twice? – No
7. Been cheated on? – Maybe
8. Cried yourself to sleep? – many times...sometimes crying makes me sleep
9. Lost someone special? – No
10. Been depressed? – Yes
11. Seen ghosts – No
12.LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS- green,purple,black


THIS YEAR HAVE YOU
15.Made new friends – Yes
16. Fallen out of love – No
17. Laughed until you cried – yes,,,i always wish 
18. Met someone who changed you – no
19. Found out who your true friends were – absolutely, this year has shown me my ever-time best buddies and also pseuds too
20. Found out someone was talking about you – Yes
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list - no
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life ? – almost
23. How many kids do you want to have – none,because am still a child;)
24. Do you have any pets – many, a dog, cat and kitten,then many birds who visit my home
25. Do you want to change your name – sometimes


26. What did you do for your last birthday – now my birthday falls in between exams...so busy with studies.
27. What time did you wake up today – 5.40 am(so early )
28. What were you doing at midnight last night – i was in deep sleep, might be dreaming too
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for – last day in my college
30. Last time you saw your father – now


31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life – my laziness. if am not lazy, i would become a person whom i want to become.
32. What are you listening to right now – crickets' sound
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - yes. i have a teacher in this name.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now?- oye, i want to sleep
36. Whats your real name - Aishwarya K R
37. Relationship Status – single
38. Zodiac sign - Scorpio with sting
39. Male or female – Female
40. Natural Hair color? - Black
41. Hair color now – Black
42. Pet Peeve – my mood
43. Need Glasses- no
44. Long or short – clear
45. Height - oh 6 feet...hihihi i cannot imagine such a height. i want to say i am 6 feet,but unfortunately i am 5"2 :P


46. Do you have a crush on someone – Yes...in 3rd standard i saw vijay's movie for the first time...from then i wanted to marry him...
47. What do you like about yourself? – that's a dullard question. sometimes i like myself the most.but at times the reverse. i couldn't figure out one thing i like about myself.
48. Piercings – yes
49. Tattoos – No
50. Righty or lefty – Righty:)


FIRSTS.
51. First surgery – NA
52. First piercing – when i was too young, pierced my ears
53. First tattoo - oh i dont want one.
54. First best friend – in LKG, my first best friend was mithra.
55. First sport you joined – frog jump
56. First pet – cat
57. First vacation – my home
59. First crush- Vijay
60. First alcoholic drink – not yet


RIGHT NOW.
61. Eating – kitkat
62. Wearing – a short and a top.
63. I'm about to - dream
64. Speaking to – None
65. Waiting to – sleep..because i love sleeping. in sleep u never remember your sorrows and also can dream the "impossibles" 
66. Want kids? – Nooo..not at all
67. Want to get married? – mm..may be
68. Careers in mind? – IAS,teacher, environmentalist


WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes – both
70. Hugs or kisses – hug
71. Shorter or taller- i like tall people because am short
72. Older or Younger – older
73. Romantic or spontaneous – what do you think, i prefer romantic ones.
74. Nice stomach or nice arms – nice arms
75. Tattoos or piercings- nothing
76. Sensitive or loud- sensitive!!!nooooooooo because am very sensitive one is enough.loud- i dont like such persons. so i omit both
77. Hook-up or relationship – relationship, because at any time you can unhook. then what is the point in hooking up?
78. Trouble maker or hesitant- why should the other one being a trouble maker if am there
i do not like to hesitate about anything. so no hesitant. i prefer a moderate one.


HAVE YOU EVER.
79. Kissed a stranger – no
80. Drank hard liquor - no!!!
81. Lost glasses/contacts – no
82. Sex on first date – No.
83. Broken someones heart –  many (at school)
84. Had your own heart broken –no heart at all...so how can one break mine?
85. Been arrested?- Nope
86. Turned someone down - yes
87. Cried when someone died - Yes
88. Got someone into trouble intentionally – No


DO YOU BELIEVE IN
89. Yourself -sure
90. Miracles – certainly
91. Love at first sight – No
92. Heaven – yes
93. Santa Claus –Yes
94. Kissing on the first date? - No
95. Angels – Yes


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY.
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? – Yes...
97. Had more than one boyfriend/ girlfriend at one time? – no
98. Do you believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever? – Yes.
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? – many things
100. Posting this as 100 truths? – yes


courtsey: gautham

Passion shall address your grief.
Look for what you have now and look for the have-nots too

dedicated to......

FACEBOOK

Just now I deactivated my Facebook account. I feel much more relived. I am now free from all the worries somehow connected with FB. Facebook- where people peep into others matters and disturbing themselves. Like, that cerin doesn't talk to me. she always contacts manu for everything. Theja didn like my status.............the list goes on

Somehow it has turned  up to be a gossip column. I doubt I was addicted to FB for a while. Consciously I deactivated it. one major use of FB is that it reminds us the birthdays of our friends. I thank fb for that. I usually dont remember birthdays. Many times my friends pissed me off for not wishing them. FB reminds each and everyone's birthday, even mine too.

Having a long list of friends, not exchanging a single hi once in a year. Then what is the meaning of such a long list??? Before deactivating my account, I deleted many because I couldn't say hi because of some egotistic aspects. They might be my acquaintance but not close friends.So my FB changed to a close friends circle.
Again I became bored with the petty dust-ups. So decided to deactivate my account.
Its funny that I can reactivate it at any time.
Lets see how many days I shall live with out FB!!!

blog,
      dear i had forgotten u for a while. but i am back to chew you once more. now you taste delicious than before. i was completely immersed in Facebook and she made me spellbound. i am sorry i never meant to hurt you. i will never ever do this again. it was my mistake. even though i couldn't post anything, i could have visited you once in a while.
please forgive me once....sorry
regards,
nila